Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
