Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
