I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
