i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
