we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
