So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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