She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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