You're so nebulous sometimes
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
