I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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