I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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