everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
