This girl is more easily done than said...
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
