I'm gonna have a badass scar
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
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