didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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