I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
