I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Found your dick twin last night
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
