the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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