Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
