Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I've blown a few things in my day
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
