i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
