So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
