Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
