Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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