Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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