Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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