dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Randomize
