I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
