is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
