i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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