I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
