The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
