omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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