Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
