1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
