we're blogging at a bar
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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