Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
