oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
