There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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