he puts the penis in happiness.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
