You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
