I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
