i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
