we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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