I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
