Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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