just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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