Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Drunk is a universal language darling
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