ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
