There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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