hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Randomize
